A Pirate's Life for Me

What I Did In Class Today:
- Drew pictures
- Talked about comics
- Got yelled at for implying Neil Gaiman is better than Alan Moore.
- Yelled at people for implying Alan Moore is better than Neil Gaiman.

Homework:
- Draw pictures
- Read comics

This is going to be the best semester ever.

Hey guys, time for FREE FRAPPUCHINOS! Or free iced chai, or free iced coffee, or whatever cold drink you like:

Click for MERRIMENT and JOY

When I get old, I'm going to make a list of all my favorite movies and send it back in time to myself, so I'll know which ones are good to watch. I assume this list will arrive sometime in the coming year. It will appear in the night, disguised as something commonplace, and hopefully I'll know it when I see it. I'll never have to pay money for a bad movie again. I'd just watch all those ones on DVD later to cure my boredom, but I'll see the good ones in theaters.

PARADOXES:
What would it mean if I watched one of the movies on the list and didn't enjoy it?
What would it mean if I enjoyed a movie that wasn't on the list?
What if I love the first few movies on the list, but then my expectations are so high, the rest aren't that great? I would ruin my taste in movies.
What would happen if the list's secret was revealed to the public, and everyone started stealing names and using them on the wrong movies?
What if horrible people get wind of my plan, and force me to add non-movie information to the list before they send it? I couldn't UNSEE the information, and I might be tricked into doing nefarious things.
What if the names on the list aren't movies I'll like, but movies designed by my future-self to send me some kind of message? What if the message is "This is how to prevent the universe from being destroyed"? Could I be that STUPID? My actions from that point would certainly cause the universe to be destroyed! But what would cause me to send the list anyway, even knowing I will use it to destroy the universe?

WAIT! I have to go back in time to deliver the list to myself, right? In doing so, I will escape the destruction of the universe. I'll be back here living my life a second time and KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT MOVIES TO WATCH!

I'm really sorry everyone. Apparently I grow up to be a horrible person. I'm sorry I even came up with this plan, but now that it exists, I assume it will probably happen. This is why I shouldn't be allowed to stay up late reading sci-fi. But too late now!

(Another version of this story: The movie "Primer" destroys the universe. I am only a pawn.)

Oh wow, but here's the worst part... I'm so ashamed of all this, if I recieve a list in the next year, I'll be too freaked out to tell anybody. I'll just say "Hey guys, want to go see a movie?"

*Theme from Twilight Zone*

I saw Indiana Jones. (SPOILERS)

I don't usually like documentaries, but this is my new favorite one. You should watch it and gain tasty education.

"But I read the book!" you say. There's still stuff to spoil.

Things I Did Today:

1) Slept in late
2) Went to a comic book store.
3) Went to a banquet.
4) Went to a pub.
5) Read the internet.
6) Listened to the internet.
7) Drew with pens.

I came here so I could tell you about the stuff I did.

But now it's 4:44 and I'm going to sleep instead.

If they ever make a movie about my life, I want this to be the background music.

"Mount Hope" by Dreamland Faces

From this day forward, I will live my life only in ways that will make me worthy of such background music.

( I Don't Want to Depress Up Your Friends List )

I'd never seen Neon Genesis Evangelion, so I decided to take my day off and watch the whole series. I finished at 3 AM.

Yeah.

One quick question for all you anime buffs: The last episode I saw was episode 26, "Take Care of Yourself". Is that the official end of the series? I see there's a movie or something, but is the movie the actual end of the series, or is it some other kind of prequel/supplement?

In other words: Is NOW the time to begin my nervous breakdown, or should I save it for after I've seen all the stuff to have a nervous breakdown about?

AHHHH, I just got the coolest program: Alias Sketchbook Pro. Maybe it's not a cool program unless you draw with a tablet, but as a person who draws with a tablet, I'm just about in tears with happiness. As an example, I tried drawing the same picture on both Sketchbook and Photoshop in 30 seconds each, using only one pen. Afterwards I was embarrassed for the Photoshop one and went back over it with a thicker pen. It STILL looks awful.



NATURAL LINE VARIATION! The Sketchbook one actually looks like it came FROM my sketchbook, not like something pixelly I scribbled. I'll bet Photoshop is still better for coloring, but I'm definitely using Sketchbook for all my on-tablet doodling from now on.

(And probably the art-savvy among you are thinking: But... that doesn't mean Sketchbook is better. It just means you're not using Photoshop properly. Well, whatever, it takes me hours to not use Photoshop properly, and it takes me five minutes to use Sketchbook properly, so Sketchbook wins.)

Guess what! I'm fired from my job, but she didn't use the word "fired"! She used the words "your sales sucked, so now the kiosk is closed forever." (Okay, those are my words, not hers. Hers were boring and non-threatening.) It's good news because I was counting on this happening, but I still wanted to be able to use this job as a reference. And now I'm free again! I was growing annoyed with the job, but there are a handful of things I'll miss.

1) Playing a lot of games. I was getting really good at Contra.
2) Having my full sales pitch memorized, so all I had to do was smile and open my mouth and something pretty good was sure to come out.
3) Teaching kids to play Mario. It was like passing the torch.
4) Being friends with the Dippin' Dots girls and the people at Auntie Annie's, who always give me an employee discount even though I had no official mall paperwork.

And of course there's the much better list of things I will definitely NOT miss.

1) THE DOODLEBOPS. Oh my god. I'll definitely have to see that ad again, especially if I go for another mall job, but my kiosk was right under the TV, so I always got the worst of it.
2) I got horrible shoulder pain from playing all those games and from bending down to pick up the controllers all day. When I got home, I could barely lift my key to the door. Glad that's over.
3) Um, lying to people? All the time? Smiling at them and telling them about the awesomeness of those piece-of-junk systems is among the worst things I've ever had to do. Did you know at least three or four people tried to return them each day? And I had to turn most of them down for stupid reasons? I would find a way to slide them under the radar whenever possible, but there were still some people I couldn't help, and I hated that.
4) Not selling anything. Haha, now I will go work in a place where people always want to buy things, because the advertisement is something cooler than me yelling at them from across the mall.

Who knows what slapdash job I'll come up with next? I hear the convenience store is hiring.

EDIT: I just went to the mall. The entire kiosk has disappeared into thin air. Godspeed, kiosk!

I just got my Health research paper back. It was about the health benefits of tea, and I'd written it on the bus that morning off the top of my head. Why did I do that? Because I knew I could get away with it. But there were a few corrections on it when I got it back. My teacher had edited in some "quotation marks" each time I wrote "green tea". And at the bottom of the page was written, "Chinese live longer? A+++"

I hadn't actually said that in the paper. Maybe I should have? o_o

That class was my favorite class. One day she brought in cookies and gave us a lecture about dating, telling us to get married young before it's too late. Another day she told us we all had permission to leave class early to go try out for The Biggest Loser. And one day she lost interest in the middle of a lecture and started giving us astrological readings instead. It was like watching The Office, except I had to stifle my laughter.

Time for a new icon. I think it speaks for itself.

ALERT!

Lizard-butterflies now exist! BUTTERFLIES that are also LIZARDS are loose in the world. Scientists aren't calling them lizard-butterflies yet, but it seems obvious to me. Those aren't dragon wings or pterodactyl wings by a long shot. Those are BUTTERFLY WINGS.

See for yourself.

AUUGH. Actually, it's possible I wouldn't be scared of a lizard-butterfly, since it's obviously a reptile and not just some papery doom-object. But seriously, I never imagined a situation where I'd have to debate whether a lizard-butterfly is scary. Should I start debating whether werewolf-moths are scary? Scientists are probably cooking some up right now.

THANKS, SCIENTISTS.

(thientists)

[EDIT: Um.... April Fool's? Belatedly?

I went back and clicked the link and found out this pic is a hoax.  I was fooled! But by mistake I fooled you  guys too, so I guess that's fun. ^_^]

I'm a full-time delinquent now. Today some bicycle cops tried to arrest me. That's COPS on BICYCLES. Trying to ARREST ME. Basically I was wandering around near the CVS by my house, trying to see if there was a place I could go sit by the canal and read. In doing so, I cut across part of the car dealership lot that's near my house. Apparently that was my fatal flaw, because suddenly I was SURROUNDED BY BICYCLE COPS. They came out of nowhere and told me to put my bag down and sit on the curb.

Quote of the day: "We got a call. They said someone was wandering aimlessly."

STORY OF MY LIFE, OFFICER.

They questioned me on all sorts of stupid stuff, including my motives for wanting to sit in the grass and read a book. I made a sly Ray Bradbury reference, but they didn't catch it. The best part was watching one cop go through my bag while the other called on his walkie talkie to check out my CRIMINAL RECORD. They asked if I had any weapons in my bag, and I got all panicky and upset, because I carry a pocket knife. (Could have been worse! I used to carry my eating dagger around with me, before I got this little swiss-army-style knife.) I guess that was okay, but he wanted to make sure I didn't have any bombs or anything. Here's the stuff he took out of my bag: A million Quizno's coupons. Copy of Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors. My sketchbook. He opened it to a page that had cartoon Cthulhu eating New York and going OM NYOM NYOM. The cop's expression upon seeing that is my new favorite expression ever. He resumed and pulled out my iPod, which was in a blue mitten. Measuring tape. Three broken wristwatches. A few crumpled teabags. Various pens and makeup. And finally, my pocket knife, which he handed to the cop in charge. Officer Walkie Talkie took it, frowned at it, frowned at me, and said, "This is the smallest weapon I've seen in my entire life."

At that point I started laughing and had a hard time stopping.

So yeah, they let me go. Moral of the story: Don't mess with car dealerships. In retrospect it was a dumb idea to cross there anyway. But now I get to talk about The Time I Was Nearly Arrested For Wandering Aimlessly, so this actually works out great. I think someday I'm going to have the best-looking criminal record ever.

EDIT: I told this to my mom and she asked if it was an April Fool's joke. It's not. It's not even funny enough to be an April Fool's joke. I feel bad I didn't come up with one though.

.....

.....

YOU GUYS, LOST HAS BEEN CANCELLED!!!!!1!

See, that didn't work at all.

Hey guys, I made you a mix tape. I didn't put the song Mix Tape on there, because I thought it was too obvious. This is a bunch of random stuff I've liked lately. My taste in music is getting strange, even by my own standards. By strange I guess I mean "edging back into the realm of bands that sell CDs in stores, but still none of the CDs that anyone else listens to". o_o

You guys should put up some mix tapes too, so I can hear some new music.

YES.

Next time I need to stay up all night, I'm just gonna drink a latte. I drank a latte eight hours ago by mistake (It was disguised as tea) and I pretty much have no desire to sleep ever again.

BIG JOB-RELATED NEWS: Hair Doodles will no longer be selling hair doodles. Now we will sell video games. That's just how things work in the world of kiosks.

And faire is over now. I wish I'd been paying more attention, because there's a lot of stuff I forgot to do. Like buy a year's supply of marshmallow honey. I tried having Sue Bee honey instead, but that was just frustrating. Guess I'll have to quit cold turkey.

I know the general consensus is that no one who reads this journal also reads comics, but I thought I'd point out that Y the Last Man is tasty and you guys should want it. It has a monkey named Ampersand. I heard they want to make a movie with Shia LeBeouf starring as Yorick, and that fills me with the strong need to get lots of people to read the comic before it gets ruined. I actually think Y would work better as a TV show, but that's beside the point.

I've been trying to make more journal entries that aren't in list format, but then all I do is write short paragraphs (sentences???) that don't segue into the other paragraphs at all, and I just omit the bullet points.

I was going to not make a DeviantArt page, because there was all sorts of depressingly awesome stuff on the main page. But I made a page anyway, because people keep telling me to. So far it's stuff you've probably seen already. More soon.

Guess that's all. I'LL SLEEP IN A YEAR.